Today is April 13th, 2014. I'm sitting here doing homework, thinking and letting my feelings collect. I can't begin to describe how blessed I am feeling. I've become such a hardworking person in the last year, i find it so hard to believe that i'm the same person scared of becoming what i wanted to become. I'm two months from turning 18, and reading the very first blog post from prom 8th grade year, too now. makes me want to cry. Chelsey, you should be so proud of yourself... you need to open your eyes and realize that you've made it way farther then you've ever wanted to go... you've worked so hard, no one deserves to shine under your spotlight, more then you do.. open you're eyes and realize this is all happening at your own pace and it's happening quickly. take a deep breath, you've made it.

So excited for my future... just have to stay on track is the most important thing... remember who i am becoming...and focusing on the main goal.

Here i go.

Tuesday January 19th, 2013.
11:30 AM.

Is when i sign my life away... OFFICIALLY getting signed... is so surreal. and i can't even fathom. how i feel right about now... is this even really happening ? i'm so excited...this is it. One year and half till VS casting... this is CRAZY... I'm so thankful for everything i have. and for the way things are going . for everyone putting up with the night's of sadness. thinking i wouldn't go anywhere... it's ALL paying off. and i'm SO happy :'((
I love my life and everyone in it. and the person i'm becoming <3

Strawberry Oatmeal Breakfest smoothie

Ingredients

• 1 cup soy milk
• 1/2 cup rolled oats
• 1 banana, broken into chunks
• 14 frozen strawberries
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 teaspoons white sugar

Directions

1. In a blender, combine soy milk, oats, banana and strawberries. Add vanilla and sugar if desired. Blend until smooth. Pour into glasses and serve.

hmm.

So it's Saturday, August, 25th 2012. My mouth hurts ugh. Here's a crazy idea. while i was taking my hot bubble bath. i came up with the CUTEST idea... for a photoshoot... so A girl with a white polo. and my riding boots...and then a Guy, with blue jeans and cargo shorts...and sperry's and me and him on nice green grass...with the sun in the background! so cute . such a great idea!! xx need a boyfriend. and a good one.

As for you Juan...there's a past blog post about you on here...i can't begin to tell you...how much i SERIOUSLY miss you...i think if things seriously work out..i'm just gonna cry in your arms...whenever i see you. i wont know what too do with myself...but just cry....i can't believe i'm writing this right now...i just wanna see you. i wanna go back in my past...i wanna go back...sit on the ground outside...and talk...in your lap...i wanna take walks with you and see all the Christmas light's...and hold hands and laugh and dance in the middle of the street...i wanna watch football games with you and study together...i wanna fall asleep in each other's arms. and kiss for hours...i wanna surprise you with cookies...i wanna wear your jackets...and you too tell me everything's gonna be alright... i just want you back...that's ALL i want... for my birthday... for my 16th birthday...just let me have you back....i miss you so much JAM. it's not even funny....i wanna spend another Christmas with you...and just watch the star's...and sit in the grass....i wanna eat dinner with you and hold your hand under the table....PLEASE just give me all of this back...because i'm still completely in love with you....i just want you back....:'''( i wanna beable to sit on your lap against...  i want to be able to laugh with you over the stupidest stuff. and cry when i miss you so much....your nothing but everything....121011...can i just GO BACK...please.....

Dear blogger,

Where do i even start.... it's been a rough night...more like a rough week. thing's are barely balancing... i'm sitting here eating macaroni ...it's 10:20 pm. and things are so rough... I'm trying to be my only motivation here. i know i can do this... i KNOW i can... I know i will get far. and be EVERTHING i've ever wanted too be... it's only a way's away... if you keep pushing yourself CHELSEY. just keep pushing yourself . you'll get there. i know you will. i have faith in you and so does EVERYONE ELSE...keep inspiring...yourself...and other people...and when you make it...look back and read this blog post...it'll make you smile chels... <3

lot''s of love,
                    yourself.